


I Stand Alone

by Halfblooddemon



Series: Alone [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Gen, Post Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2017-11-28 19:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/678086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halfblooddemon/pseuds/Halfblooddemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set one year after season 6 finale. No longer friends with Sam and Dean, Castiel becomes...Well, read the story and find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Castiel' Goodbye on Fanfiction.net. There have been changes made to the story since posting it on FF.net but do not change the outcome of the story.

New Mexico

2012

Running into the Winchesters in the middle of the desert was not how Castiel wanted to start the hunt. Shaking his head in frustration, Castiel returned to his observation of the site where the bodies of six young children had been found weeks earlier. When Sam Winchester's shadow obscured his view Castiel stood and began to walk away.

"Cas! Listen to me, Cas," yelled the oldest Winchester brother.

"The name is Castiel. You no longer have the right to call me Cas," replied Castiel, his deep voice devoid of emotion. He turned and gazed at the hunter standing before him, his blue eyes cold.

"Cas, please. Castiel, please, give us a chance to talk about what happened" replied the youngest Winchester with an earnest expression on his face.

"The knife in my back was enough, Sam, there is nothing else to say," stated dryly the former angel of the Lord. Castiel turned to walk away from his former friends but stopped at the sound of Dean's weary voice.

"What are you doing here?" asked Dean carefully avoiding the use of Castiel's name.

"I am here to determine why children are disappearing. Did you think I was here for the wonderful scenery?" replied Castiel looking at the barren landscape.

"You have changed," stated Sam who had been staring at their former ally with interest.

Castiel no longer looked like the nerdy tax accountant the brothers had met in 2008.

Castiel had lost the trench coat and tie and replaced them with all black. Jeans, long sleeve Henley shirt, boots, and topped it off with a long, black duster. Castiel's once short hair now reached his shoulders and a scar ran from his left ear to the middle of his cheek.

He looked tough. He looked lethal. And he looked at them like they meant nothing.

"Everybody changes, Sam." With that Castiel slipped on his sunglasses and turned his  
back on the Winchesters.

Castiel strode to the Harley parked at the side of the deserted road. With practiced ease he  
slung a denim covered leg over the seat and started the engine with a flick of the wrist.

Turning towards town Castiel remembered the last time he had seen the Winchester brothers.

He remembered begging Dean to trust him. He remembered Dean refusing.

He remembered being called family and having them turn their backs on him.

Most of all he remembered the look on the Winchester's faces when he declared himself to be God.

He still could not believe that Bobby, Sam, and especially Dean would assume the worst of him. He fought beside these men, died for them, yet they could not tell that it was not him telling them to bow down before him or die?

He hadn't seen Sam since that night. He had seen Dean alone only once, to tell him good bye one last time. But that is a story for a different time.

As Castiel turned into the parking lot of Molly's Tavern he recalled his final sacrifice for the Winchesters.

He then closed his mind to the painful memories and focused on the task at hand.


	2. Chapter Two

Castiel entered the Tavern, the dim lights hiding things best left unmentioned. Molly's Tavern wasn't a place for a respectable man thought Castiel. But Castiel had no respect for the man he was searching for anyway.

Castiel's cold blue eyes scanned the room with practiced ease. He had learned to spot which humans would most likely to cause problems for him. When his gaze meet the lifeless brown eyes of the human seated at the bar, Castiel knew he had found the man he had been looking for.

Castiel began to reach for one of the knives he concealed inside his duster when the door opened. The murky light revealed the silhouettes of two men he immediately recognized as the Winchesters.

Son of a bitch, thought Castiel returning the knife to its hidden pocket. Why can't I escape these two? A year apart hasn't been long enough for me.

"Castiel, we need to talk,' came the husky voice of Dean Winchester from across the room. "Why are you here?"

Castiel realized that he would not be left alone until he satisfied the curiosity of the Winchester brothers. Straddling a chair at the nearest table he indicated to Sam to have a seat while motioning to the waitress to bring him a beer. "What do you want Sam," asked Castiel his voice cold with indifference. He carefully avoided the gaze of Dean, his fair weather friend.

"I want to know, I mean, we want to know what happened to you last year during …," Sam replied with a side ways look at his brother. He noticed the way Castiel avoided looking at Dean and wondered if he had missed something between them.

"What happened is none of your concern, Sam. Your interest in my well being comes a little too late. Now, if we are done I have work to do," Castiel stated as he rose to leave.

"What work do you have in the middle of nowhere New Mexico,' Dean asked with sarcasm dripping from his words. " Don't angels have more important things to do?"  
Castiel gave an indifferent shrug as an answer to Dean's question.

"Have you found out anything?" asked Sam "We're here for the same case" stated Sam with a quick look at Dean.

"I have determined the cause of the disappearances. Your help is not needed in this case since the cause is human, not supernatural. I will deal with the problem" stated Castiel.

"You can't kill a human Cas! We don't work that way." declared an agitated Dean.

"Really?" mocked Castiel. "How many humans did you kill while torturing the demons for Lisa's location? 5? 10? Or more? Do not presume to lecture me about morals when your own are so flexible."

Castiel stood, took his beer, and walked away.


	3. Chapter Three

Castiel walked out into the bright sunlight, Rayne at his side. "Who were those guys?" Rayne inquires.

"People from my past," Castiel gruffly answered. "Jeffery Cox is what is important now. He needs to be stopped."

"Before anyone else loses a child," Rayne says her voice full of grief. One of the missing children had been her nephew. After Eli's disappearance she had quit her job at a Denver newspaper and moved to New Mexico in an attempt to find him. Eli's disappearance had changed the normally carefree and impulsive young woman. She had decided that nothing was more important than finding her oldest sister's child. Unfortunately all they had found of Eli were his remains mixed with others in the middle of the desert. She had stayed, working at the local Tavern hoping to find clues to the killer's identity.

She had meet Castiel earlier this month when he had entered Molly's Tavern looking for a drink and a cheap room. She had realized that there was something different about him after having a conversation about the missing children. When he had realized that she was related to one of the missing he had treated her with surprising gentleness that wasn't reflected in his appearance. She found him to be a man that cared deeply about others, a man who had a sense of purpose and determination. They continued walking until they reached Castiel's room. Rayne was always surprise when entering Castiel's room, in her experience most single men were not neat freaks like Castiel.

The bed was made with almost military precision, the chair set exactly two inches from the cheap desk. Above the desk hung pictures of the missing children, notes neatly written in masculine script. Taped below them was a picture of the man they believed to be responsible for the murders. Using different methods to track down the child killer, Rayne and Castiel had narrowed down the suspects to one man. One man who others would never consider suspect because he was part of the team searching for the killer. 

Their killer was human, and a deputy sheriff in Torrance County named Jeffery Cox.

Rayne had been able to hack into the deputy's police records, bank accounts, and personnel files. Cox had a history of brutality during his arrests, his bank accounts had numerous questionable deposits, and numerous complaints had been filed against him. Cox appeared to have a taste for control, for power, and money.  
This lust, they determined, led him to making a deal with the witch's coven. Cox would supply the blood of seven children in exchange for power and wealth.  
Tonight was the final night of the ritual and the witches would need the blood of the seventh child. Castiel planned to stop them before another child died needlessly.

"Are we going after him tonight?" Rayne asked "We need to get ready if we are going to stop him."

"We aren't going to stop him, I am" Castiel firmly told her. "You are going to wait here until I return."

"But," started Rayne before Castiel silenced her with a glance.

"You are the only person who knows the killer's identity. If something happens to me…" Castiel began hesitatingly.

"Nothing will happen to you Castiel, I have faith in you." Rayne's words were bittersweet to Castiel's ears.

"Thank you Rayne," Castiel's words almost a whisper as he gently kissed her on the forehead. "I will return as soon as possible."

Gathering his supplies Castiel left the motel room to stop a serial killer. He knew from the research that Cox would be at the Tavern again tonight for dinner.  
He would return for the killer after his appointment with the witch's coven. Castiel and his angel blade quickly took retribution for the deaths of the six small children.  
The coven members would never again harm a human soul.


	4. Chapter 4

It was just after dusk when Jeffery Cox left the Tavern and headed east towards town. Castiel pulled out behind the deputy's cruiser intent on preventing another death. He followed Cox to a poor section of town where questions were never asked and people were afraid to get involved.

Within an hour Cox had managed to isolate a child playing in the vacant lot behind an abandoned factory. Castiel started to get off the bike to stop Cox from taking the child but was interrupted by the sudden appearance of a group of teens.

Swearing, Castiel pursued the cruiser with the child sitting innocently in the back seat. He hadn't wanted any witnesses but now there would be one.

Or maybe more than one since he could still hear the distant rumble of the Impala's engine. Perhaps the Winchester's insistence in getting involved would work in his favor this time.

Castiel continued behind the cruiser with the Winchester's following behind in a strange caravan of vehicles. Cox turned down a road leading to an isolated area where he could safely drain the blood of the child.

Cox pulled over to the side of the road near a derelict shack and pulled the now struggling child out of the car. Castiel pulled in behind him, preparing to stop him from killing again. Cox noticed Castiel and began to drag the child to the shack.

The Winchester's arrive in time to see Castiel running to intercept the killer. Cox dropped the child's arm, pulling out his service revolver and taking aim at Castiel before reaching the safety of the shack. Castiel tried to dodge the shot but took a bullet in the shoulder.

"Cas!" yelled Dean as he ran to his former friend. But Sam had the advantage, his long legs allowed him to reach Castiel first.

"Take the child, Sam," Castiel demanded. "He doesn't need to witness this."

Sam glanced at Dean before taking the child to the Impala. Dean and Castiel would have to take care of the situation on their own.

"Go around the back, check for another entrance," Castiel instructed Dean. "I will draw his fire." Dean started to argue, unused to taking orders from Castiel.

"Now, Dean!" Castiel ordered as he walked to the front of the shack giving Dean the time to disappear around the back of the shack. "Cox, I know about your deal. You can give up now and face the authorities or face the consequences of failing the witch's directives."

"I'm dead either way!" Cox yelled from inside the building. From behind him comes the sound of a gun being cocked. "Let's go" Dean stated coldly as he leads Cox out into the night.

Castiel came eye to eye with the man who took the lives of the innocent. "You are right, Cox. You are going to die" Castiel growled. With a flash he took a knife and slit the man's throat.

"Evil comes in many forms," Castiel coldly informed Dean. "Evil isn't limited to the supernatural." With those words Castiel turned his back to Dean, walking towards the Impala.

"Sam, can you see to it that the boy is returned to his family?" Castiel asked curtly. His shoulder was beginning to ache and blood soaked his shirt.

"Sure, Castiel. No problem" Sam said quietly with a glance at Dean. Dean's face reflected his shock over Castiel's actions. "Are you alright Castiel? You are bleeding" Sam's voice full of concern.

"Why the hell are you bleeding Cas?" demanded Dean.

Castiel glanced at Dean coldly and replied "Because I am human, you ass."


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel returned to his motel room, wounded and in pain. Rayne jumped to her feet when she glimpsed at his face and its painful expression. She got closer to Castiel and noticed the blood on his shirt.

Rayne attempted to remove Castiel's duster but stopped when he groaned in pain. Castiel walked over to the desk and reached for a bottle of bourbon. After taking a mouthful he gingerly removed his bloody clothes. Rayne gasped when the bullet wound became visible.

"Let me help you with that Cas" she said, unconsciously shortening his name. Rayne reached for the first aid kit that Castiel kept on the desktop. She took out gauze and started cleaning the blood from his wound.

"The people responsible for Eli's death have been taken care of" Castiel told her gently.

Rayne looked into Castiel's blue eyes and perceived the truth reflected in them. The man who murdered her nephew had met his end by Castiel's hand.

"Thank you, Castiel," Rayne quietly acknowledged Castiel's actions "My sister may be able to find peace now." She reached up to gently cup Castiel's face, his five o'clock shadow prickling her hands.

Rayne reached up to press her lips against Castiel's. She noticed his chapped looking lips were surprisingly soft as she deepened the kiss. Castiel's hands went to her hips and gently pushed her away, breaking the kiss.

Castiel leaned down until his forehead touched Rayne's. "I'm sorry, Rayne, I can not give you what you need" he told her sorrowfully. "I will be leaving first thing in the morning."

"Is there someone else?" Rayne inquired.

"No, Rayne, there is no one" Castiel softly replied.

Rayne's soft green eyes looked into his beautiful blue eyes and wondered what prevented him from loving someone and then decided it didn't matter. If she could not have Castiel as a lover, she would remain his friend.

"You should get some rest, Castiel" Rayne told him. "Go shower while I get some take out from the Tavern."

Castiel walked to the bathroom as Rayne turned to leave. "Thank you, Rayne" he said quietly as she opened the door. She nodded and closed the door behind her.

Returning a few minutes later with the food, she walked in just as Castiel stepped out of the bathroom.

Castiel had exited the bathroom wearing low hanging sleep pants revealing his hipbones. Rayne took a deep breath; she has seen Castiel without his shirt while cleaning his wound but had been too distracted to notice the muscular beauty of his body.

Ignoring Rayne's stare he walked over to the food she had placed on the desk.

"Nothing fancy," Rayne stated "the pickings are slim at the Tavern. Your choice, Burgers or chicken strips."

"Chicken strips please," Castiel said with a wry grin. He had his fill of burgers years ago. "Thank you, Rayne. Again."

They sat down to eat, Castiel at the desk, Rayne perched on the edge of the bed. They ate in silence, comfortable with each other's presence.

"What are your plans?" Castiel asked. He was genuinely interested in what his new friend had planned.

"I'll be seeing my sister tomorrow, and then returning to Denver. What about you?"

"Moving on to the next town, the next case" Castiel replied.

"Have you ever considered settling in one place" Rayne asked curiously.

"No, there is too much to do, to see to settle in one place. Cases take me across the country, I like it that way" Castiel said distractedly.

"If you're ever in Denver be sure to look me up" Rayne told him. She noticed that Castiel seemed to be losing himself in his own thoughts.

Rayne stood, preparing to leave. Castiel, noticing her actions, told her "It's late. You are welcome to stay here."

"Thanks but I need to get ready to leave in the morning. Besides, my room is just down the hall" Rayne reminded him.

"I can at least walk you to your door" Castiel tells her as he opens the door. "A gentleman always sees a lady to her door."

"Where did you learn that? Television?" Rayne asked him with a laugh.

Noticing Castiel's faint blush she realized that she had guessed correctly. She wondered at the strange mixture that made up Castiel, innocent yet ruthless, kind yet admittedly a killer.

When they reached her door, she turned to him saying "Thank you for what you did for me and my family Castiel. Keep in touch…" she starts to say then noticed the change in Castiel's demeanor.

The change in Castiel was telling, the gentleness in his eyes gone now, replaced with icy coldness. She realized what caused the change when she spotted the two strangers from the Tavern waiting by Castiel's door. Rayne stood on her toes and placed a good bye kiss on Castiel's lips. Once Rayne was safely in her room Castiel walked back to his room and to the Winchester's waiting for him.


	6. Chapter 6

"We returned the boy to his family" Sam started to say before being interrupted by Dean.

"What the hell was that all about? You killed that man" Dean trailed off when he realized that they were not alone in the hallway.

"Come inside" Castiel told them shortly. He would rather avoid this scene but knew that it the Winchester's would not leave quietly. He motioned for them to enter, then following them in he closed the door.

The three former friends stood in awkward silence until Castiel walked across the room to get a drink. The silence was broken by Sam's exclamation "My God, what happened to your back?"

The hunter looked at the scars across Castiel's back with sick fascination. Two long, deep scars ran from Castiel's shoulder blades to the small of his back. The scars appeared to have been fully healed though the edges were rough.

Without a word Castiel strode to the dresser and put on a shirt; covering his scars from the prying eyes of the Winchesters. His scars were part of him, a part of his life that he would never share with Sam or Dean.

Castiel remembered a time when he trusted those two with his life. A time before betrayal ruined his belief in their friendship. Castiel had learned a bitter lesson; he would never be able to believe in them again. As Bobby had once told him "never let the same dog bite you twice."

"Thank you for getting the boy home" stated Castiel. "I killed Cox because he was responsible for the death of six children and would have killed a seventh if he hadn't been stopped. Anything else you need to know?" he asked them sarcastically.

"How did you know it was him" Dean asked "you could have killed the wrong man, an innocent man."

For the first time since seeing the Winchesters again Castiel looked Dean directly in the eyes. "I don't kill innocent men, Dean. Cox made a deal with a coven; neither of them will hurt anyone again."

"What happened to the coven?" Sam inquired as he looked at the pictures hanging above the desk. He appeared to be impressed with the amount of research Castiel had done on the killings.

"They are dead" Castiel replied coldly. "If we are done now?" Castiel continued while motioning them to the door.

"What happened to you after…?" Sam hesitatingly asked.

"Nothing that concerns either of you" Castiel replied shortly. "Now leave."

"We will find out what happened to you" Dean said determinedly. "That's a promise."

Castiel's only response was to open the door for them to leave.

After the Winchester's departure, Castiel decided it was time to make a phone call.

"Ya know what time it is" Bobby Singer's gruff voice asked.

"My apologies," Castiel replied to the hunter and friend. "The coven has been taken care of as well as the human supplier."

"You took out all seven of them alone" asked the hunter in amazement. "No witnesses?"

"A child but Sam Winchester removed him before the violence began" responded Castiel coolly.

"How the hell did he get involved" Bobby asked with annoyance.

"Newspaper reports, I assume. The same way we picked up on it" Castiel retorted dryly.

"Smart ass! What did you tell them about…?" Bobby had started to ask before Castiel interrupted him.

"Nothing. My life is no longer any of their concern, if it ever was" Castiel snapped.

"You're going to run into them again, Cas. It is bound to happen" responded Bobby with concern.

"Not if you keep me updated on their whereabouts, Bobby" Castiel replied angrily.

"I'm not their keeper Cas! They rarely contact me anyway" Bobby said with a hint of sadness. "They work on their own now, avoiding contact with anyone in the hunter community."


	7. Chapter 7

After ending his call with Bobby, Castiel sat at the cheap motel desk and opened his laptop. Bobby had given him a lead on another case in Sundance, Wyoming. He googled Sundance, a small town located near Devil's Tower.

Ironic location for a possible demon infestation, he thought wryly. Castiel researched the town until his attention began to wander back to his conversation with Bobby.

Bobby was right about one thing, he thought. Running into the Winchesters was bound to happen again if he continued hunting in this part of the country. He had considered working on one of the coasts but the thought of being surrounded by millions of people was something he could not tolerate. He now needed the freedom of wide open spaces to feel safe, finding the sweeping expanse of the road a comfort.

Castiel considered Bobby's advice that he should tell the Winchesters what had happened the night of the eclipse. He had hesitated at the suggestion, still unsure if he could deal with the memories.

As thoughts of that night began to flood his mind, sweat beaded his forehead and he was pulled into the vortex of his memories …

A maelstrom of emotions swept through Castiel, swirls of colors and sounds assaulted his senses, the swiftly flowing memories of the other souls overwhelming him. He could taste the fear of the desperate; hear the pleas of the frightened inside him. The screams for help, for mercy competed with the sibilant whisper of the souls who craved control and power.

He had fought to maintain control, to preserve his thoughts and memories against the onslaught of millions of desperate souls. Yet even as he struggled he could sense the souls' attempts to absorb his thoughts and twist his memories. Cut off from his angelic and human family he felt more alone than he ever had, vulnerable now to the influences of the souls of Purgatory.

The last straw, his last tether to hope had been Balthazar appearance which caused an ache in his heart; here was his true brother, his ally, and his friend. Yet he had become a Judas, betraying him, working with the Winchesters to stop him. Did no one have faith in him? Why couldn't his friend trust him? Hurt and betrayal overwhelming him, the loss of Balthazar's friendship and trust devastating, Castiel instinctively reacted. Cas wept with regret for his actions.

We will never hurt you. You saved us. You released us. The voices continued whispering promises of family, of love, of acceptance to Castiel, while twisting his views of his family. He tried hard not to listen, to give in to temptation; but now all alone, darkness flowed through him. Every thought amplified and every memory influenced, Castiel began to transform.

The sudden appearance of Crowley and Raphael caused a surge of hunger; not for sex or food, but for the first time he felt a desire for power. The moment that he snapped his fingers and destroyed Raphael, he felt a surge of elation. Trapped inside his own mind, Cas felt no joy in destroying his brother.

It filled him with a sense of strength, and for the first time, a sense of pride. His plan had worked; he had defeated Raphael and prevented the Apocalypse from being started again. Alone, abandoned and betrayed, he managed to defeat Raphael and outfox the King of Hell, thought Castiel smugly. Cas only felt loneliness.

Castiel looked into Dean's eyes and coldly told him that he was not his family, that he had no family. With words intent on causing pain, he mocked Dean, telling him that he while he had "doubted me, had fought against me, I had been right all along." Cas felt shame at the bitter words.

The sudden pain of the angel blade caused the souls inside him to shriek in pain and in ecstasy. He felt himself being pushed aside, pushed down and pulled apart by the reactions to the assault. He became a mere echo of himself inside the swarming souls while another declared himself to be a better God. Cas felt lost.

Castiel could see Dean and Bobby through the eyes of the other souls. He could see the fear in Dean's green eyes, the acceptance of death in Bobby Singer's eyes. Cas screamed with frustration.

He continued to struggle against the restraints that prevented him from helping his friend and comrade. He continued to fight against the fetters holding him; until he saw Sam. For the first time, Cas became enraged.

He remembered telling Lucifer that he wouldn't let the archangel take Sam. He remembered calling Sam his friend.

He remembered dying to give Dean a chance to reach Sam. He remembered trying to save Sam from Hell.

He remembered breaking the walls in Sam's mind and promising to save him.

He could not, would not, break his promise to Sam. A promise made was a promise he kept.

With the last of his strength, Cas gathered his will and wrestled control from the others.

With a thought, he rendered Dean, Sam, and Bobby unconscious, unwilling to risk another angel blade to the back or a shot gun blast to the heart, fearing it would break the tenuous hold he had on the souls. Gently brushing Sam's hair off his forehead, he touched Sam and healed him of his time in the cage.

"I am sorry Sam, I truly meant you no harm," Castiel whispered to the unconscious hunter. With his promise now kept, he decided on his next course of action and disappeared.


	8. Chapter 8

Father, why have you forsaken me? I begged you for help, for guidance. I pleaded with you for a sign. Where were you?

I died to protect your creations twice! I have been fighting for so long, I have lost so much. My brothers and sisters dead, Heaven was in turmoil, yet you still refuse to show your face!

Someone had to do your job! I did not want the power; I wanted only to prevent the destruction of mankind…to save my friends, my new family.

Now they are gone, I have lost everything! Because of you!

Why must I sacrifice myself again? I was always loyal; I kept my faith in you until the very end.

Why must I die again to prove my love for you? For your creations? Why?

****************************************************************************** Castiel knew what must be done. This time there was no doubt and no questions. He returned to the mountain glade where he had performed the spell to open Purgatory.

He had chosen this spot because of its peacefulness, the purity of the water and the greenness of the trees. This place was as close to Heaven that he had ever found on Earth. Castiel could smell the wild flowers blooming nearby and see the flickering of the fireflies.

Castiel stood next to the rock where he had used the mixture of monster and virgin blood to paint the sigil to open the doorway to Purgatory. He could feel the souls inside him. They were in turmoil; seemingly able to recognize their last hope for freedom was about to end.

Some screamed obscenities, others begged for a chance for redemption. Castiel knew that the chance for redemption was gone; for himself and for them. He had lied to his friends, to his family. He did what he had to do yet he had lost everything, everyone who mattered.

His plan had worked; he had saved the world again but at such a terrible price. Castiel also knew that he would die a million deaths if it meant that Dean, Sam, Bobby and humanity survived and thrived.

With a last thought of his slain brother Balthazar; of his friendship with Sam, his comrade Bobby and lastly his human brother Dean, bound by something far stronger than kinship, Castiel began the spell that he knew would cause his final death.

The sky grew bright, while silence spread throughout the glade as the doorway began to open. Then the pain began as the final words of the spell were spoken. Castiel tried to direct the souls, to manage them as they left his vessel.

He felt them tearing at his grace as they left, the pain unlike any he had ever felt before. As the millions of souls left his vessel he grew weaker, eventually falling to his knees.

As blood poured from his nose and his ears, he silently gave thanks that Jimmy Novak had gone to Heaven before the war had begun. Knowing that Jimmy was at peace and would someday see his wife and child again, filled Castiel with a sense of relief.

Once he was sure the souls had left him, Castiel used whatever was left of his grace to seal the doorway to Purgatory. Never again would anyone, human or supernatural creature, be able to manipulate the souls for their own gain. The souls were safe now as was humanity.

His grace gone, his wings ripped from his body, Castiel focused on finding a place to heal or a place to die.

Castiel's final thought as he lost consciousness was that he wanted to go home.

******************************************************************************The next sound that Castiel hears was the cocking of a gun and Bobby Singer saying, "Give me one reason not to kill you."

"I am dying anyway," Castiel replied with resignation. He was unsure why he ended up in the living room of a man who surely wanted him dead. Castiel had killed Bobby's friend, a necessary act yet he didn't think Bobby would see it that way.

Castiel braced himself for death once more.

"What happened? Last we saw you, you were leaking soul juice."

"When was that?"

"Six weeks."

Six weeks? Castiel thought. It felt like it had only been hours. The purging of the Purgatory souls had taken far longer than consuming them had. Perhaps it was because the souls had fought him, had tried to convince him to let them go free to roam the earth.

"I returned the souls and closed the doorway to Purgatory. It cannot be opened again. By anyone or anything," he said.

"That why you look like you went nine rounds with a semi?" Bobby asked sarcastically. He looked at Castiel curiously. "Why haven't you healed yourself? Or is the new God looking for sympathy points?"

"I am not a God, Bobby. I never was; the souls assumed power and made demands of you and the Winchesters. I never would have asked you to bow to me."

"Why not? I am only a man, I couldn't have stopped you," Bobby said, using Castiel's reply to Dean against him.

Castiel sighed, walking wearily to the couch.

"When I said that, I did not mean that Dean was powerless because he was a man. I meant that he was vulnerable as a human; he could not fight against Raphael and win. I did not want to see him die for me."

Bobby studied the exhausted, probably dying, ex-God lying on his couch.

"Dean and Sam know any of this?"

"The last memory I have is the night of the eclipse," said Castiel, closing his eyes in fatigue. He wished the questions would stop. "I closed the doorway using my grace. I remember wanting to go home."

"Huh. And you ended up here," Bobby observed.

Castiel nodded, unsure how to answer the unspoken question. Bobby came to a decision.

"Well, let's get you cleaned up. You're bleeding all over my couch."


	9. Chapter 9

"What should have I done?" Castiel asked Bobby, his head tilted to the side, a clear indication that he was confused.

"I had twenty-four hours to decide to whether I should allow Raphael to restart the apocalypse or fight against him. Tell me, what would you have done? Twenty four hours, Bobby."

The grizzled hunter couldn't give an answer but the hands cleaning Castiel's wounds gentled. Bobby continued to clean the pus-filled wounds on Castiel's back while listening to his words and the emotions in them.

"I didn't want to bring him back into another war. He has already given so much, how could I ask him to risk everything again? Should I have brought him back just to die at Raphael's hand? I couldn't do it to him; I couldn't do it to myself. If he died because of me…."

"He thinks I betrayed him. Why can't he understand I did it to protect him? I did it to save everyone… I made mistakes, Bobby, but I did it to save them. Crowley wanted to kill Dean and Sam. I would have allowed the world to end before I would let him kill them. Everything was for him, Bobby, for them."

As Castiel continued his monologue, Bobby realized Castiel was delirious from fever and the pain of having his wings stripped from his body. Bobby wasn't sure whether angels could actually run a fever but the heat coming off of the wounds proved that Castiel was susceptible to infections.

Bobby wondered if Castiel lost more than his wings when he closed Purgatory. When Castiel had drifted into unconsciousness, Bobby walked over to the cabinet and poured himself a large portion of Hunter's Helper. He had a feeling he would need it before the night was over. He was right.

They soon realized that Castiel was more than human but less than angel when it took days for him to heal from the infection that would have killed a normal man. The wounds on his back finally healed; the scars on his back would be a constant reminder for the loss of his grace.

Bobby had wanted to call Dean and Sam but Castiel begged him not to. He wasn't ready yet to face his former allies, unsure if he would be welcomed or if he would face the business end of Dean's favorite gun.

Castiel needed more time to heal before facing anyone, even the man he considered closer than a brother. He needed to find forgiveness within himself before he could ask for forgiveness from Dean. He realized that Dean might never forgive him for taking down Sam's wall but he was willing to try to repair their friendship.

During the time Castiel spent at Bobby's house, he learned many things about the hunter who took him in. Bobby wasn't a patient teacher and Castiel discovered the hard way that there were certain rules that must be followed when staying at the Singer residence.

Rule # 1- Don't attempt to talk to Bobby before he has his first cup of coffee. Doing so will result in coffee mugs being thrown at your head.

Rule # 2-Don't try to organize Bobby's books. Go ahead, try it but you risk losing a hand. Or two.

Rule # 3- Don't answer Bobby's phone. Any of them. Ever.

Rule # 4- Don't comment on Bobby singing show tunes in the shower. Just wear ear plugs.

Rule # 5- Don't interrupt Bobby while he is watching Tori and Dean. Or So You Think You Can Dance.

After a few weeks Bobby decided it was time to help Castiel integrate into human society. One morning, Bobby presented him with identification papers that he procured through a rather unsavory individual in the hunter's circle of contacts. He was now Castiel Kincaid, the son of Dillon and Megan Kincaid of Cheyenne, Wyoming. His date of birth was listed as September 18, 1975.

Now that Castiel was a card carrying member of the human race, Bobby decided it was time to teach him one of the most important things about being a man. He was going to teach Castiel to drive a car.

Castiel learned to drive on one of the old clunkers in Bobby's salvage yard. His ears still rang from Bobby's shouts while teaching Castiel to drive. Castiel was on the receiving end of curses in at least five different languages; he had never realized that Bobby was so fluent in such a variety of languages.

Eventually Castiel was able to drive well enough that Bobby stopped threatening his life if he put another dent in the car. Castiel wondered why Bobby was concerned about adding yet another dent to the wreck of a car but decided that keeping his mouth shut would be the safest option.

Castiel didn't like driving; at least he didn't until he tried out a beat-up old bike he found in the salvage yard. Castiel loved the feeling, it was as close to flying as he would ever experience again. He often went out on drives on nights that he could not sleep; the high speed on the open road helped calm his racing thoughts.

On one of the nights that Castiel could not sleep he read a book titled IT. He had never understood Sam's aversion to clowns but after reading the book, Castiel felt that clowns should be hunted down and exterminated. He wondered why hunters had allowed clowns to live. He had thought demons were bad but clowns were a completely different level of evil.

On other sleepless nights, Castiel would watch late night television. He recognized porn from his time with Sam and Dean but some of the other shows confused him. He didn't understand the late night religious shows, where did they come up with such idiotic notions? God doesn't condemn you for your sexual orientation; he condemned the sin of judging those who were different. Judge not lest ye be judged, had humans forgotten that?

Political debates confused him until he remembered Dean's words about humans lying to get elected to office. After a heated debate, Bobby told him avoiding talks about religion, politics, and money would save him from many fights and a lot of headaches in the future. Castiel decided to trust the hunter since he was far more knowledgeable about humans and their odd belief systems.

Days at Bobby's were spent learning the skills he would need to survive in the hunters' world. Castiel soon became skilled with a variety of weapons but he preferred the blade of a knife. He had retained his fighting style, graceful and lethal in his movements. Bobby taught him how to fight dirty, to use words as weapons, and to recognize when he should run instead of staying to fight.

Castiel had been at Bobby's for six weeks when he decided it was time to face Dean Winchester. He left Bobby's house one bright morning, ready to face his friend and his future.


	10. Chapter 10

When Castiel found Dean Winchester he was sitting alone in a dingy hotel room outside of Sioux Falls staring blankly at the TV with bottles of Jack, Jim, and Jose lying at feet and ignoring his ringing cell phone.

"Hello Dean" came the gravely voice of Castiel. He had entered the hotel room without Dean even noticing.

"Speak of the devil. What are you doing here?" asked the hunter as he reached for the gun under the pillow.

"Dean, I am not the devil. I just came explain. I wanted to let you know that…" started Castiel.

"Nothing more to say to you, Cas. Your actions said everything," Dean said his voice cold and unforgiving.

"Torturing Doc Visyak, killing a virgin, opening Purgatory, damn it, you took down Sam's wall," with each statement Dean's voice grew louder.

"Dean, please let me explain what happened" pleaded Castiel, his blue eyes full of pain.

"No! You could have killed Sam; you could have killed my brother" Dean's green eyes full of anger.

"I had no choice Dean! Crowley would have killed you both. I did this to protect you" growled Castiel.

"No, you did it for yourself! You wanted to prove that you could defeat Raphael, prove that you were stronger than him" yelled Dean coming almost nose to nose with Castiel.

"I did everything for you! I killed for you; I died for you twice, I worked with Crowley…" Castiel roared at Dean.

"You trusted Crowley! Why would you, how could you, work with him? Why didn't you trust me enough to help you" interrupted Dean, his voice betraying his anger.

"There is no one I trust more than you Dean. You were happy with Lisa and Ben…out of the game, out of danger. I didn't want to bother you…" Castiel said to Dean impatiently.

"Bother me? Bother me, I could have helped you" Dean yelled at Castiel.

"How could you have helped Dean? By fighting Raphael? You would have died in a heartbeat. You forget, Dean, that I am stronger than you, older than you. I have been fighting wars while your ancestors were barely fish out of water" Castiel coldly replied to Dean.

"I could have…" Dean started to say before being interrupted. Castiel invaded Dean's personal space and felt the anger radiating from the hunter.

"You could have trusted me! I am neither evil nor stupid. I asked one thing of you and you refused me. I have done more for you than any other yet you could not give me the one thing I needed" stated Castiel grimly.

Dean looked into the brilliant blue eyes of the angel and said "You were like my brother Cas; you should have listened to me."

"When I came to you for help I heard Raphael, blah, blah, blah. You never took me or the war I was fighting seriously. If you truly considered me your brother perhaps you could have spared some time to listen to me" Castiel told Dean coldly.

"You had to have know what you were doing was wrong Cas" Dean wearily told him. "You should have known that working with a demon never turns out well."

"Dean, I learned that lesson from watching the Winchesters working with demons," Castiel told him sarcastically. "I never trusted Crowley, I had a plan, and I did what had to be done to stop Raphael!"

"What you should have done was come to me" Dean protested.

"Your priority was Sam. You were not interested in anything I had been doing unless it prevented me from helping you" stated Castiel icily. "You showed no concern about the possibility of the Apocalypse until it directly affected you."

"The Purgatory monsters could have destroyed the world if they had been released" Dean retorted.

"What do you think Raphael's plan for the world was Dean?" Castiel asked mockingly. "Pies and porn for everyone?"

"I was tired Dean, tired of your lack of respect, of trust, and of faith. I was fighting a war to prevent the Apocalypse while you were off fighting fairies. I did regrettable things to win the war but I will not beg your forgiveness" Castiel told him wearily.

"So, destroying Sam's wall was a regrettable thing? You don't regret that? Of course you don't because all you cared about is defeating Raphael, you didn't care what happened to us" Dean said accusingly.

"Just another dick with wings."

"You think I don't care. After all this time, after everything we have been through together, you and I. Do you really believe that I don't care?" Castiel asked, looking into the hunter's green eyes.

The look in Dean's eyes told Castiel everything he needed to know. Dean truly believed that he didn't care. Castiel looked at the man who taught him the meaning of free will, and of family, and realized that he was about to say good bye for the last time.

"I regret taking down Sam's wall, Dean. I always will." Castiel told Dean, his voice weary. "Just remember, Dean, when everything was over I also healed him."

"Good bye, Dean" Castiel said as he turned and walked away from the man he considered his friend, his mentor, and his brother.


	11. Chapter 11

Wyoming

2012

As Castiel rode towards Sundance and the possible demon infestation, he reflected upon the beauty of the land around him. He might have lost faith in his Father but he still couldn't help admiring the beauty of His handiwork. His Father might have been a deadbeat dad, according to Dean, but he had created a true masterpiece when he made the earth.

Time passed and the grassland prairies soon made way for a forest of ponderosa pine, birch and aspens. The sunny blue sky provided a perfect back drop for the Black Hills of Wyoming. The fresh air and mountain breezes were exactly what Castiel needed to wipe away the sorrow that reliving his memories had caused.

Castiel pulled in front of the Dime Horseshoe Tavern after deciding the place looked like a good source of gossip since, judging from the number of pickup trucks and SUV's in the parking lot, it was a local hangout. When Castiel walked in the locals grew quiet, checking out the newcomer. When it was decided that he was not an immediate threat, the low rumble of conversation resumed.

Castiel took a seat in a middle booth, between a group of old men and a group of teenagers. He had learned that the younger generation often knew things that others didn't while the older men were the biggest gossips. He ordered his meal and sat back, waiting and listening.

By the time Castiel finished his lemon meringue pie, he had several new clues about the possible location of the demons. From the teenagers, he learned several people were now squatting in an abandoned house that used to be their party house. The teens were not happy with being displaced since what else was there to do in this hick town other than get drunk and screw whoever was willing.

The group of gossipy, old men had been more concerned with recent thefts and signs of a cult moving into the area. One of the men had seen the symbols that were painted on the side of the abandoned house and realized they weren't normal graffiti.

It appeared to be religious symbols of some sort although the man couldn't say why he felt that way. There was also the matter of food, clothing, and other small items disappearing. The things taken were different from the items usually stolen by some of the lighter fingered youths in the town.

After paying for his meal Castiel went across the street to the Bear Lodge Motel to get a room for a few days. While waiting for someone to come to the desk, Castiel thought about the articles that led Bobby to believe demons were working in the area.

A picture on a local paper's website had caught Bobby's eye after he recognized one of the symbols carved on the side of Rattle Snake Hill. The symbol indicated a gathering was taking place nearby. Curious about why demons would want to gather in such an isolated area, Bobby had given Castiel the information and asked if he was interested in checking it out.

"You are in room 107, sir. Check out is at noon. Just ring the front desk if you need anything," said the young man who checked him in. He seemed far more interested in the video game he had been playing than asking any questions about the stranger.

"Thank you," Castiel replied as he walked outside to his bike. After getting his gear, Castiel walked over to the corner room and went inside. Glancing at the frayed brown carpet, the sagging bed with its horrid green and yellow bedspread, he sighed, missing his favorite heaven.

After a quick shower, Castiel called Bobby to let him know what he had found out about the demons and their location. After agreeing to check in again the next day, Castiel prepared to scout out the location where the demons had set up camp.

Castiel dressed in his customary black jeans, long sleeve Henley and boots. Into each boot he slipped a silver knife, while other knives were secreted on his body. Next, he put on a shoulder holster were he carried his favorite gun, ammunition going into his duffel bag along with holy water, salt, iron, and salt rounds for the shotgun lying on the bed.

Slipping on his black duster, Castiel glanced back at the room making sure he had everything he might need for the night. He left behind his laptop, clothes, careful to leave nothing behind that would arouse the curiosity of a nosy maid.

Snatching his keys off the desk, Castiel left the dreary motel and walked to his bike. After securing his gear, Castiel started the bike, leaving the parking lot with a low roar of the engine. Turning south on Third Street, he headed to the abandoned house on the edge of town. According to the teenagers, the house was located off Saddle Spur Trail, the last house on the street.

Castiel turned off the engine, coasting to a stop in front of the derelict old house. The overgrown yard, the paint peeling off the house and the ramshackle appearance told a story of years of neglect. The dim lights glowing through the windows indicated the house was no longer empty.

Castiel grabbed his gear, quietly walking through the overgrown grass to the side of the house. After reaching the side window he peeked inside, hoping to get an idea of the number of demons. Castiel was able to count three demons in the living room, one in the kitchen, deciding he had spent enough time looking into the window. Now he needed to scout out the rest of the property, to find any other means of egress.

After doing a quick search of the property, Castiel calmly walked back to the front of the house. He needed to formulate a plan to draw out the demons, preferably a few at a time since he no longer had angelic powers or even his human allies to fight beside him.

For a split second, Castiel was distracted by his thoughts of Dean, Sam, and Bobby. That momentary lapse of concentration was all the three demons needed, as they surrounded Castiel.

"Crux sancta sit mihi lux non draco…" Castiel coolly started to chant the exorcism, hoping to even out the numbers to give himself a fighting chance.

The demon standing in front of Castiel smiled as he raised a gun, calmly shooting him in the leg. With a grunt of pain, Castiel stopped saying the exorcism for a moment before continuing, "sit mihi dux Vade retro stana…" The second demon shot him in the shoulder before Castiel was able to finish the fifty words of Latin needed to exorcise them.

Smiling, the demon looked down at the bleeding man, a smile that never reached the cold, dead black eyes as he whispered, "We have been waiting for you, Castiel."


	12. Chapter 12

Castiel woke up gradually to find himself leaning against a wall in the abandoned house, his hands tied behind his back, his legs bent at an awkward angle. As consciousness returned, he first noticed the faded green carpet, then the peeling wallpaper and finally the woman standing in front of him.

"Hello, Clarence."

Groaning, Castiel recognized the voice, the snarky tone unmistakable.

"Meg"

"You remembered, I'm touched." Meg smiled mockingly, leaning towards Castiel.

"What do you want from me?" Castiel asked, pain reflected in his voice. His body ached from the gunshot, blood still seeping from the wounds.

"Besides that hot body of yours?" Leering, Meg ran her hands across Castiel's chest before coming to rest near his shoulder.

"I want the Winchesters," she said as she dug her thumb into the oozing wound. When Castiel groaned, Meg smiled, pleased to see the former angel in pain. Standing, Meg walked over to the table, taking a long drink from the whiskey bottle.

"You're such a fool," Castiel retorted. "The Winchesters don't care what happens to me. Don't you keep up with the gossip?" Whiskey stung his eyes after Meg threw her drink at his face.

"Don't bet on that, angel boy. I've seen how Dean looks at you." Meg's sarcastic rejoinder caused Castiel to laugh bitterly.

"Are you really that stupid, Meg? Dean only noticed me when it was convenient for him, if he needed his ass pulled out of the fire again. I was never anything to him besides a dick with wings. Useful but easily discarded." Castiel's voice was a mixture of resignation and sorrow.

"Aww, you boys broke up? Did you return his class ring? Oh wait, he never had one." Meg laughed gleefully, enjoying the angry look on Castiel's face.

"Cut the crap, Meg. What do you want and why are you really after the Winchesters?" Castiel's voice was as cold as the look in his blue eyes.

"I want Crowley's head on a platter. And the Winchesters are going to help me get it."

"Why would they help you kill Crowley? They hate you as much as they hate him, Meg."

"I don't want them to help me kill Crowley!" Meg laughed unpleasantly. "I want to use them as bait."

"You have me. Why do you need the Winchesters?" he asked, confusion evident in his voice.

"Sorry, Clarence, but you aren't enough to bring Crowley out of hiding. He might blame you for losing the Purgatory souls but he hates Dean and Sam with a passion. Crowley blames them for your betrayal; he knows that everything you did, you did to protect them."

"What, you didn't know that Crowley was in hiding? Not keeping up with the gossip?" Meg asked mockingly. "Demons want him dead so they can have a shot at becoming the next King of Hell; and Raphael's followers want him dead because he is the demon who led Raphael to his death.

"Crowley is screwed either way. Not that he would mind." Meg snorted, laughing at her own twisted joke.

"I guess the angels and demons don't see you as a threat anymore, Clarence."

Smiling, Meg sauntered over to Castiel. On bended knees, Meg looked into Castiel's blue eyes. "I'm not stupid, Castiel. You've been trying to distract me, to get to one of your hidden knives. Trust me; I had such fun searching for them." Snickering at the disgusted look on Castiel's face, Meg rose and walked towards the door.

"We're going to have such fun together while we wait for the Winchesters."

"They will not come for me, Meg." Castiel replied, his voice conveying his certainty.

"Have a little faith, Clarence."

spn~spn~spn~spn~spn

When the occupant of Room 107 didn't check out at noon the next day, the manager charged another day on his credit card, unconcerned as long as the charges were approved. On the second day she repeated the process, telling herself that she would call the police tomorrow if the occupant didn't return by noon.

Calling the police wasn't necessary because the FBI appeared the next morning looking for Castiel Kincaid. Agent Robert Sanders, a distinguished-looking man with a greying beard, asked her a few questions about the last time anyone had seen the suspect before going to check out room 107.

After gathering Castiel's belonging as evidence, Agent Sanders thanked the manager and turned to leave. Making a phone call as he left, she heard Agent Sanders tell someone named Dean that they had a problem. And to get his ass to Sundance, pronto.

spn~spn~spn~spn~spn

Castiel wasn't aware how much time had passed. Each day was an endless mixture of pain, of anger and of despair. Each day, Meg and her followers found a new way to hurt him, to humiliate him.

On the first day, a tawny-haired demon came into the room where Castiel had been tied up and removed a small, black pouch. She placed the pouch on the desk, opening it to reveal long thin needles. Gazing at Castiel with a sly grin, she selected a dozen needles and slowly approached him.

Castiel bit back a groan as the first needle was placed between his toes. By the time the fifth needle was inserted, Castiel had bitten through his lip, blood pouring down his chin, in an attempt to keep from screaming. When the final needle was placed behind his ear, Castiel screamed in agony, his nerve endings aflame.

Time became a hazy blur; minutes felt like hours, hours seemed to stretch into days.

On the second day, Meg joined in on the fun. Physical pain wasn't enough for her; she enjoyed tormenting Castiel with words chosen to inflict as much pain as the knife she used. Cruel, ugly words to match the blasphemous symbols she carved on Castiel's chest. Meg never did enough damage to kill him; she wanted him alive when Dean and Sam arrived.

He knew that, despite what Meg believed, that the Winchesters would never come for him. Too much distrust lingered, too many harsh words exchanged, and too much time had passed without forgiveness.

By the time the third morning rolled around, Castiel was ready to die.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean had been driving for hours with music blaring, wondering about Bobby's emergency. They were finally within Sundance city limits after driving for a day and a half and Dean was desperately trying to avoid having a certain conversation with Sam.

"Dean, we need to talk!" Sam yelled at his brother over the sound of Travelling Riverside Blues.

"Gotta mortgage on my body, gotta lien on my soul," Dean sang even louder and off-key.

Glancing over, Dean noticed Sam's bitch face and sighed. He really didn't want to have this conversation right now, if ever.

"Sam, just drop it. I'm not going to talk about it," Dean replied coldly, signaling that the conversation was over before it truly began.

"Fine. There is the motel where we are meeting Bobby," Sam said smoothly, indicating the Mountain View Motel. "Room 102."

"Fine? Just like that? You have been hounding me for hours and now I get fine." Dean asked his frustration evident. He looked at Sam as they walked to Bobby's motel room,

not trusting the innocent expression on his brother's face. Sam had let him off the hook too easily; he must have a more subtle attack planned.

The door to room 102 was wrenched opened by a frazzled looking Bobby just as Sam prepared to knock. "Bout damn time you got here," Bobby grouched. "We have a problem."

"What do you need, Bobby?" Sam asked seriously as Dean walked over to the older hunter.

"It's Cas."

"What the hell has Castiel done now," Dean said insultingly, deliberately drawing out the syllables in Castiel's name.

"What the hell!" Dean yelped as he barely ducked in time to avoid a swat on the head from Bobby.

"Dean, be serious," Sam told him quietly. "What's wrong with Cas?" he asked as he turned towards Bobby.

"We were looking into some demon activity," Bobby began before being interrupted by Dean.

"You've been working with Cas? How long? Why didn't you call and tell us?" Dean asked, getting angrier with each question asked.

"Listen up! Phones work both ways, knucklehead. You two are the closest thing I have to family but why would I tell you about Cas? You've been avoiding me for months, off hunting on your own."

"Dean, you made your feelings about Cas clear when you talked to him last year. Just another dick with wings, right?" Bobby asked Dean sarcastically.

"What? Wait a minute!" Sam asked confusion evident in his voice. "When did you see Cas?" he questioned as he looked at his brother. Dean refused to meet his eyes, a faint blush staining his freckled cheeks.

"Your idiot brother didn't tell ya?"

"No, he didn't tell me anything," Sam looked at his brother thoughtfully. "Are you trying to hide something?"

"No!" Dean protested forcefully. "Castiel came to me a few months after… he tried to tell me some bullshit story about why he didn't come to me for help."

"And instead of listening you insult him, right Dean?" Sam looked at his brother with something akin to pity in his eyes. "Why didn't you at least listen?"

"He hurt you, Sam! He lied to me, to us for months! He didn't trust me with the truth, I would have died for him, hell, I almost did but he still didn't trust me to help him!"

"Did you, Dean?"

"What?" Dean looked at Bobby, confused.

"When did you almost die for Cas? Tell me, Dean, when have you ever come close to dying for him?"

"When, uh, that time with…" Dean stuttered, unable to form a sentence.

"What about you, Sam? When were you willing to die for Castiel?" Bobby asked, looking at the younger hunter. "You've both been in danger before but Cas has always been there to pull your asses out of the fire."

"You can't give me answer. Because you both know the truth, Cas has done more for you idjits than you have ever done for him."

"Why are you suddenly on his side?" Dean's voice slightly hostile as he questioned the man he considered a friend. "He lied to you too. So why would you trust him now?"

"Because I was wrong about him. I'm man enough to admit it. Are you?"

Dean paced across the faded motel carpet, gesturing and muttering to himself while Bobby and Sam watched with a mixture of amusement and frustration.

After a few minutes Dean walked over to one of beds and sat down. Looking at Bobby and Sam, Dean finally said "I'm listening."

spn~spn~spn~spn~spn~spn

Castiel was unaware of how much time had passed since Meg and her black eyed cronies had left him into the darkness. Meg seemed to lose interest in torturing Castiel when he stopped screaming in pain.

For Castiel, the darkness was a blessing. In the darkness, he did not see the vile words Meg had carved upon his body. In the darkness, he didn't have to witness the glee in Meg's eyes as she wielded the knife.

His body had slowly started to heal, the minor wounds inflicted by the demons healing first. The serious wounds would take longer to heal; a normal human wouldn't have survived the mutilations.

While Castiel's body healed, his mind continued to dwell on his conversation with Meg. Revealing his naïve belief in the Winchester's friendship hurt, saying the words in front of the foul mouthed demon caused a deeper level of anguish, of pain.

He wondered if Bobby would look for him. He would miss the old hunter, and the cranky manner he used to disguise his true nature.

Under the façade, Castiel recognized Bobby as a kindred spirit of sorts. They were both men who were willing to fight and die for the people they considered family.

Castiel regretted that he would die here alone, unable to say goodbye to his only friend.

spn~spn~spn~spn~spn~spn~spn

As Castiel drifted into unconsciousness, he heard the faint sound of Back in Black playing nearby.


	14. Chapter 14

Dean's plan to rescue Castiel was brilliant in its simplicity~Save Castiel.

Fortunately, for Castiel, Bobby already had another plan.

spn~spn~spn~spn~spn~spn~spn

The sound of Back in Black drowned out the low growl of the Impala as the classic car pulled in front of the abandoned house. Bobby and Sam exited the car, prepared for battle.

The demon waiting for them on the front porch stood as Sam and Bobby approached. The moment that Sam and Bobby reached the porch, the demon smiles, and then releases a thick stream of oily, black smoke.

"Huh. Wasn't expecting that," Bobby said wryly. The hunters tightened their grip on their weapons and opened the front door.

The old house reeked of stale cigarettes, neglect, and blood.

With a glance the hunters took in the empty room with its graffiti covered walls, old beer bottles, and make shift furniture. Sam continues down the hallway while Bobby walks towards the kitchen with his weapon ready. After searching the first floor and finding no signs of Castiel or the demons, the two hunters continue towards the staircase.

At the top of the stairs, the hunters continued their search until they found Castiel in the back bedroom. The sight that greeted them was disturbing even for the hunters, the smell of blood overwhelming to their senses.

Castiel had been left tied to a bed, shirtless, and covered in wounds in various stages of healing. Dried blood covered scars across his chest, arms, and face. His once elegant hands looked like they had been broken, then healed wrong, the crooked mess painful to see. Castiel did not move as the hunters approached, instead he continued to stare blankly at the ceiling.

Sam quietly called out the former angel's name, "Castiel."

Castiel shifted positions on the bed, mumbling an inaudible response.

"Cas, it's me. Sam," Sam said as he got closer to Castiel, "Bobby is with me."

"Liar!" Castiel yelled while he kicked Sam in the stomach "…. just another trick."

"Damn it, Cas" grunted Sam "We're here to help you."

"Are you real," asked Castiel as he looked up at them, his eyes blood shot and full of confusion, "I am not dreaming again? I dreamed I heard Dean's music…"

Bobby and Sam exchanged worried glances before Bobby started cutting the restraints binding Castiel's wrists to the bed. The restraints had rubbed Castiel's wrist raw and fresh blood appeared after Bobby removed the bindings.

"Cas, can you sit up?" Bobby asked softly "We need to get you out of here."

With Sam's help, Castiel was able to sit up. Within minutes, Castiel was able to stand and walk to the door of the bedroom.

"Where is Dean?" asked Castiel as he turned back to look at Sam and Bobby.

"He is …" Sam began before being interrupted by Castiel.

"Never mind, I told Meg that he would not come for me."

"Meg? Meg, is here?" Sam asked confusion evident in his voice. "Why would she want you? I mean, why…"

"Meg wants to use you and Dean as bait to trap Crowley. She thought that Dean would try to save me" Castiel said dryly, "I told her she was wrong."

Castiel began to walk slowly down the stairs, ignoring Sam's pleas to listen to him. He did not want to hear the excuses; he knew why Dean had not come to save him. He was just grateful that Bobby and Sam had cared enough to find him. He would thank them as soon as they were out of danger.

The trio had barely reached the living room when they realized that they were in trouble.

Four demons, including Meg, were waiting for them. Each of them had a weapon trained on the hunters.

"I told you they would come for you Castiel," Meg stated gleefully.

"Dean isn't here, Meg" Castiel replied, "I told you the plan wouldn't work."

"He'll show up. His family is here," Meg stated mockingly "and in danger."

"What danger, Meg?" asked Sam, "One demon per hunter seems fair, right Bobby?"

"Good odds" Bobby replied dryly.

"Four hunters?" asked Meg.

"Hi, Meg. Ya miss me?" asked Dean from behind her "Can't say I've missed you."

Dean raised his fist and punched Meg in the face.

"Damn, that felt good" Dean said, laughing and throwing another punch at the demon who had tormented the Winchesters for six years.

After Dean's sudden appearance, all hell broke loose. There was no time to worry about the loss of the humans the demons were riding, the only goal now was to get out alive.

Bobby began chanting an exorcism while fighting the tawny haired demon who tortured Castiel.

Sam tosses Castiel a knife before going after the nearest demon. Soon fists were flying, grunts and groans heard as fists met their target.

Lacking his usual graceful movements, Castiel began to circle the remaining demon. Castiel struck out at the demon, aiming for the heart for a quick kill. The demon grabbed Castiel's wrist and twisted it, causing him to drop the knife onto the floor. Each scrambled for the knife, fighting for their life.

The knife rose and fell two times, the second thrust fatal.

With a groan, Castiel pushed the dead demon off his chest. He lay still for a moment, exhausted.

"Cas, you okay?" Dean yelled when he noticed Castiel was down.

Too tired to respond, Castiel just waves his hand.

"Ahh, worried about your boyfriend, Dean?" Meg teased, laughing at the expression on his face.

Dean's response was to stab Meg in the neck, brutally twisting Ruby's knife.

"Stay dead this time, bitch!"

Castiel raised himself to a sitting position, looked at the dead demons, and then to the hunters looking down at him.

"You came for me."

"You're family, Cas" Dean stated, reaching out his hand to help Castiel stand up.

"You're not alone," Sam declared, patting Castiel on the back. "We're your brothers."

"If you idjits are done with the girl talk,' Bobby grumbled as he turned to leave, "We should get out of here."

Smiling, Sam followed Bobby outside leaving Dean and Castiel alone inside the abandoned house.

"Cas, I should have listened to you…"

"Dean, can we talk about it later?" Castiel replied wearily, "I could use a shower, food, and a beer."

"Are we okay?" Dean asked concerned.

"We will be, in time," Castiel stated.

Together, the hunter and former angel left the house.


End file.
